Very sad...

I just wanted to send my heartfelt sympathy out to Tracy (Baby Steps) today. I just read her sister Debbie's post from yesterday and I'm in total shock and dismay. Tracy, if you read this, I'm so very very sorry for your loss. Just try to heal and know that your little LoveBug is in Heaven, safe and sound, and will forever be your guardian angel. I know that doesn't help, but you already know you have soooo many friends and family that are pulling for you and loved this baby already! Hang in there. Big hugs.

Yea, I'm still here!!!

Hello, hello, hello Everyone!! First of all, thank you all so very much for the sweet words, comments, concerns and so forth from all my friends. I'm really sorry I haven't been on here posting much these past few months. It's just still very raw and very hard to face my emotions. And again, this was supposed to be a blog to record my journey to motherhood (again), but seeing as how that road has come to an end, I feel as if I have nothing to write about. Anyway, I'm sorry, and I'm back. I'm going to try really hard to start posting more. I want you all to know I still get on almost daily and read your blogs. I enjoy it so much. I'm so excited for so many of you right now...Rachel & Jen, time is ticking so quickly til the arrival of your precious twins...Marcy & Kris, your little miracle is on his/her way now and I know you're just getting so excited....Tracy, I think it's still all settling in for you, Sweetie, but I hope you know I have prayed for you so long now...and Michell, who's doing her IVF RIGHT NOW, I am so excited for you!!!! I know there are so many more, and I'm sorry if I forgot to mention you, but I try to post little notes on your blogs so you know I'm thinking about you and haven't dropped off the face of the earth!!

As for life in my 'lil town...same ole, same ole!! Liam is doing wonderful in school...he's getting straight A's with one B in Handwriting! :) He gets recognition every single grading period for staying on excellent behavior (they call it "green"). He's just changing so much...growing up waaaay too fast. My "baby" will soon be 7 on Valentines Day! I can't even begin to know where the past 7 years have gone!!! For those of you expecting and who just had their first baby...please cherish every second, and don't be afraid of taking TOO many pics because one day you'll look back and be so thankful you have those 2000 photos from their first year!!! lol I know I am! :)

As for TTC, well, we're still on a break. Jay is still looking for another (better) job in her field now that she has her Masters. It's been 8 months now, and although she's been on a few good interviews, nothing has panned out for her yet. So please keep her in your prayers. A new job and better income would be the answer to all our prayers right now, especially on the TTC front. :) I've been trying to find the "ideal" part time job, but in the area where we live, they're hard to come by. I'm going crazy sitting home while Liam is at school. But I keep looking. And as I mentioned in my last post (I think), I started going to counseling...to help deal with this TTC depression, plus move forward in some other areas of my life. It's going pretty well, and I'm really hopeful that it will continue to be a source of healing for me. There are 3 babies just in my family that are due in the next month, not to mention 3 friends that are due within the next month or so. It's hard. I know I have Liam, and I thank God for him everyday. He is a true blessing. And he is the apple of my eye!

Jay...she's the love of my life. I fall more and more in love with her everyday. She truly is amazing and a gift from God, as well. How did I get so lucky? :) I think so often in our rush rush daily lives, we lose sight of what we already have and what it once meant to us, as it's so easy to take things, and people, for granted. Well lately I've been trying really hard to take a step back and remember what brought Jay & I together in the first place. It wasn't our desire to have a child together, it was this deep down longing for eternal love...finding our soul mate...and lately I look at her in the way I did when we first got together...and let me tell you...it's AMAZING! :) Gives me that butterfly effect all the way down to my toes!!! :) And then I watch her and Liam play or read together, and I get that feeling again. They have such a great relationship. I know Liam's dad is smiling down on me for finding someone that truly accepted Liam as their own and loves him as if he were. :)

That's about all the new news I have to share for tonight. Oh, someone annonymous wanted to know what area we're in...I don't like to indulge my location really, so if you want to make yourself known, I can tell ya more about where we are. :) Sorry! I wish all of you joy & happiness this week and for those of you in the North...stay warm!!! :)