Is there such a thing as "skipping"??

I don't know how we consider this "skipping" a cycle...when in all reality, my mind is more stressed over ttc this month than those months we ARE trying!! I decided to create this blog in hopes of letting out some of the hostility I have towards the old witch for showing up each month! My partner Jay and I have been trying since October, and although not near as long as some, still longer than we ever planned. I should have known, having been through this "experience" before. Long story short, it took me 2+ years to concieve my beautiful son Liam 6 years ago. I went to two different fertility clinics, and had 7 dr assisted IUI's before finally getting my BFP! What a road it was.

So how do I find myself here again? I thought for sure when I had Liam that he would be the only one for me. I was totally ok with that. I'm an only child, and although I've always hated being a singleton, I accepted it as my son's fate as well. I saw it as prime opportunity to give him a great life, bond with him in a way my parents never did with me, and spoil him to the ends of the earth. So why am I ttc again...now?? Well, I met the most incredible, loving, heartfelt person I've ever known...about 2 years ago. She has changed my life. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I have finally found my life partner. :) About a year ago, we decided it would be the most precious thing to share in the beauty of creating a child together. It wasn't even a question of who would be the bio mom because she's way too masculine to EVER do that! We started reading up on doing home-IUI's and felt it was our best option. We live in a small town, with the nearest Reproductive Endocronologist 2 hours away! After months of planning, discussing, saving $$$, charting my cycle, picking a donor and all that fun stuff, we made our first attempt in October 2006.

BFN.

Next cycle, BFN. And on and on they came.

Being a stay-at-home mom, my life isn't the most "busiest" life one could have. Not that it makes it any easier, but I do think being pre-occupied with a job or activities would make the burden of ttc a little easier. I have nothing but time on my hands...time to sit and think day in and day out how I'm NOT pregnant yet!!! It's so frustrating. Not that my frustration is anymore than anyone else ttc, but I feel most days like just sitting and screaming.

So maybe this is the place I needed for some solitude. Some peace...within myself.