End of the road...

I'm not even sure how to start this. I didn't even think I could get on here today and write this. I had every hope that this blog would turn into a journey of my pregnancy, but as it turns out, it's not. Not now anyway. Our 6th cycle was a bust, so our road to parenthood (again) has stopped for the time being. I made some calls today and got some information, so at least we have a goal to set and know how much money we'll need to save to start again. It will be a while, but I don't think we've given up yet.

My heart is breaking. I feel as if I'm grieving, but I haven't lost anyone. Well, I guess I feel as though we've lost the "idea" of having our baby. It saddens me to the core. But I knew going into this 7 months ago that this was a possibility. I tried gearing my heart up for the disappointment, but in all reality, I guess one can't totally prepare oneself for defeat. And yes, I do feel defeat. Defeated by Mother Nature. Why some people can so easily become pregnant, and others of us can't, it's just a mystery that we, as humans, aren't meant to understand I guess. It will take time, but I know my heart will heal and someday I'll be ready for this journey again. I will not give up on the idea of giving Liam a brother or sister.

More than likely, I won't post here for a while because...well...there won't be anything to post really. My emotions are raging on high right now...this was a place that I thought would bring me comfort in these times, but I find it harder to deal with when trying to put the words from my heart onto the screen. Maybe because there are no words to describe how I feel. Not really.

Thank you all for reading this, for following our journey, and for the prayers and well wishes. Especially to all my friends at NW. I hope to be back before too long. :)